I Could Be...

I could be alone, and not get as much sex as I'm not getting right now.

I could be the last man on Earth, and I couldn't get less sex than I'm getting right now.

We were virgins when we got married, and our sex life went downhill from there.

Platonic Friend:  An open wallet and a closed zipper.

All tease and no please.

All talk and no walk.

All talky-talky and no fucky-fucky.

Bestiality:  Isn't jerking off a better alternative?

I don't judge a man by the color of his skin.  I judge him by whether or not I can fuck his wife.

All my skinfolk ain't my kinfolk.