Being Accepted...

You're trying to be accepted by those who don't like you.

I was invited for reasons I still don't understand.

Fat people shop at the more-to-love department.

Neil Young once sang:  "Only love can break your heart."  But it takes a wife to ruin sex for you.

If you're good, you go to Heaven.  If you're bad, you go live with your ex-wife.

Motherfucker's Old Fashioned Hamburgers

If you're in the ocean, and a shark attacks you...  that's not a shark attack.  that's a shark doing what a shark does where he's supposed to be doing it. 

If you're eaten by a shark in a place that he's not supposed to be--like the DMV--now that's a shark attack.

"I need to renew my driver's license."
"Okay, sir.  I need to take your picture.  Please stand behind the yellow line and put your head in my mouth."

People don't want equal rights.  They want MORE rights.

     thethingaboutmen.blogspot.com